Do you ever wonder how the circle of life works in a way that you eventually end up where you started? Or if I say it more precisely, then gradually, you get to see that, what you are seeking, is seeking you. So far, I have been a person who has always been a, giver. Like, be it emotional support, or love, or time, anything, that has more value than currency and utterly important in life as well. A point comes when, all your resources are, drained, and you are just like an empty, hollow vessel. Or perhaps, a broken one, that even if you pour anything into it, it would eventually, leak out. That emptiness, I tell you, it kills! It’s like, you are breathing, eating, waking, sleeping but, those eyes, damn! They reflect the emptiness, that, hollowness inside you. You feel like a, zombie; a flower, which lost its fragrance, a rainbow with shades of grey. It feels, so heavy, every time you inhale. It’s a near to death experience. The eyes are lodged with the baggage of melancholy and sleepless nights. You keep on seeking, but the search never ends, neither on a thing, nor on a person. Those smiles are hollow, and fake. For once, we decide and try to move on with life, but those long empty nights, bring back all the flashbacks and boom! you are back to base zero. All those efforts of distraction, pulling yourself out of that miserable state of abject devastation, seems like going in vain.
You know, throughout our whole lives, we run after and chase the so called perfect love. In everyone’s book, the definition of perfect varies accordingly, but the bottom line is, true love is the one, which stays forever. But, no one ever explained that how far this forever goes. Like, is it a whole life time, an eternity, or is just a mirage. For some, this forever is as short as a sneeze, while the others keep waiting even after the putrefaction of the physical entities. Perhaps, your forever might be different than mine, but trust me, forever is a long way to go. Or maybe this whole idea of perfection is just a myth!
There’s a very popular saying, “There are two kinds, I believe, of human attraction. One, that merely excites, unsettles and makes you uneasy. The other, is the calmer, less frantic love, which helps you to grow where you are already growing.” The people that I once loved utterly with so much devotion and gave my every ounce of love to, whenever I think of them now; it makes me hate the idea of love. I know this is weird. Love costs a lot, a lot! And here I am not talking about monetary terms, but, the emotional and spiritual expenditure and that is definitely forfeited and cannot be retrieved back, ever! When you love someone, you give them a part of yourself, and that part is lost with them, as they go. And my friend, what sort of love is this, which intoxicates you so badly and costs you the only prized possession that you own!
For love, to be perfect, does not need to be a fairy tale or a happy ending. Sometimes things are not falling in the place, or probably how we expected them to be, but its okay. It’s okay if you are not able to control the situations, its okay if things are not happening according to your plans, its okay if you are left heartbroken. What not okay is, to let go the best things at best times because you are being blind folded by your tremulous past, still holding upon things, embracing the pain. You don’t deserve it. There are people waiting for you, to shower all of their love upon you, to make you feel special, to embrace you, to tell you how beautiful you are, to walk with you, hand-in hand, to talk to you about your favorite food and color, to make you some birthday cakes and yummy morning breakfast. Maybe god has different plans for you, the better ones, the happier ones, the healthier ones. So, gear up! Wear your armors of positivity, fight your sorrows and miseries, dodge all those toxic rats/mice and clutch your happiness like your winning trophies!
Lots of love and best wishes to you guys.